Making Decisions

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. - Philippians 4:8 NIV

I have always had a hard time making decisions. Part of this is because of my tendency to be a people-pleaser, and my codependency on them for my approval. This makes saying "no" always seem like the wrong answer when in reality it may be the best answer.

While growing up I would "avoid" making decisions or be a part of the decision making process with others by saying "I don't know" or "I don't care." However, one of my sisters noted when my answer was "yes" I said "I don't know" and when my answer was "no" I said "I don't care."

I think that's how I felt. I couldn't say "yes" because I feared I was overriding someone else and their preference, so I said "I don't know." I also thought my opinion was never worth anything. So when I wanted to say "no" it came out "I don't care" because I didn't care about what we were going to be doing.

You may be wondering why I'm talking about decision making after quoting Philippians 4:8. I'm getting there :)

My counselor gave me this verse to meditate on this week and look up the Greek words. She explained how she uses it as a filter for how she thinks about things and sees the world and the things in it.

This verse helped me handle the aftermath of emotions from a difficult conversation in focusing on the good I was able to learn as a result of the discussion, and the events and people involved with the topic of said discussion.

This morning as I prayed through Philippians 4, for my counselor encouraged me to go through the whole chapter, and since it kept popping up from a book my sister gave me, in my devotion I'm reading, and a friend sent me, as I wrote this, with her encouragement.

The Greek word for think (or dwell or meditate) is logizesthe which means "to reckon, to consider" and according to HELPS is a form of logizomai, the word we get the terms for logic or logical from, and means properly to "compute (take into account), reckon (come to a "bottom-line"), i.e. reason to a logical conclusion (decision)."

So Philippians 4:8 is not only useful as a filter on how we think and look at things, but also a guide in making decisions.

For if a choice is true, alēthē: "unconcealed, true, worthy of credit;" noble or honorable; just or right, dikaia, according to HELPS, means "approved by God;" pure; lovely, proshilē: "pleasing, agreeable," HELPS adds "worthy of personal affection, hence, dearly prized, i.e. worth the effort to have and embrace.;" of good report, admirable, or commendable; virtue or excellent; and praiseworthy then I think it would be a very good thing to do indeed.

But if a choice is not these things, then take caution.

Another thing to consider when making decisions is to actually read the book Your Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst, because she has a lot of good advice on things to consider when making decisions. She also brings up 1 Corinthians 13 and how in one version it says, "if I don't do it with love, I'm bankrupt."

Because if we do things just out of obligation, thinking we have to because it is expected of us, we are going to end up spreading ourselves too thin and feel empty.

When we do things out of love, our Heavenly Father blesses us for obedience in doing the good works he has prepared beforehand for us to do. Though sometimes we can feel worn out afterwards, that is also where we find those feelings of fulfillment.

For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. - Ephesians 2:10 NIV

What are some things you may need to change your point of view on? How do you process decisions? Are you searching to do the good things God has prepared for you, and to do them?

Fruits of the Spirit - An Overview

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. - Galatians 5:22-23

The fruit of the Spirit. We memorize them. We sing about them. We know they are good things. But what exactly are the fruits of the Spirit? Have you ever thought about what each of those words mean? The order they were put in? Was there a reason for the order?

I believe so.

I wrote the verse on a 3x5 card and looked up the Greek words for each of them. Most seemed simple and straightforward, but 3 of the words were interesting enough that I put the Greek word, and its meaning about them on the back of the card. Then I taped it to my mirror with a number of other verses I had taped to my mirror that I would read through and meditate on in prayer.

The next morning I prayed as I read through the verses and meditated on them and what exactly they meant and meant for me. And I felt challenged and blessed as I worked through the fruits of the Spirit.

Eventually I would like to work through each of the words individually, or even in small groups. But here I would like to share an overview of how I saw them as I remember them as I had meditated on them:

Love, I noted, was first for a reason. Love pours forth as a fountain continuously from God. The Father is in a continuous state of loving the Son. Creation was an overflow of that love. We were created in the image of God, to love as the Father loves and to be loved as the Son is loved, and to be a messenger of that love as the Spirit ministers that love. So of course love was first, for it is the foundation of all things.

After love comes joy. We can not properly experience joy without understanding that we are loved. Romans 12:12 says to be “joyful in hope,” and our hope is in the salvation of God, based on his love for us. Because he loved he created us. Because he loves he sent us his son. Because he loves us he prepares a place for us. And because of these things we have hope that his promises will be fulfilled when he returns.

Then comes peace. Peace is a state of rest and comfort and confidence. We have peace when we trust God that his promises are true and he will fulfill all he says. And because we have this confidence that God will fulfill his promises we can have joy in this hope because we know his love is sure. (See how they are starting to tie together?)

Then comes long-suffering, or patience. This was the first Greek word I saw fit to scribble on the back of the 3x5 card. The word “makrothymia” means “patience, long-suffering” just as we would expect. However, the word comes from two other Greek words: “makros” which means “long” and “thymos” “passion, anger” which when combined comes to mean “waiting sufficient time before expressing anger," according to the notes on BibleHub.com.

Therefore, we are to have long-suffering, waiting a long time before we let our anger, passion, or frustration to get the best of us and explode. And we can do this because we have peace in God’s promises and assurance that he will provide for all our needs and everything will be fulfilled in his good timing, for which we can take joy, and results in us abiding in his love.

Kindness is next. And the first thing that comes to mind for me is showing kindness, doing good things. But again, going to Biblehub.com and looking up the Greek word and what their notes say on the word I found something a little different. The word for kindness is “chrestotes” meaning “goodness, excellence, uprightness,” not really actions. Again, this word is built off of another word: “xrestos” meaning “useful, profitable.” How it turned into a longer word that meant goodness, excellence, or uprightness doesn’t really make sense, but the notes continue on to say “usable” or “well fit for use,” “kindness that is serviceable.”

So in kindness we are not taking action yet, but we are ready, prepared to say yes when God calls on us. Yet we must be patient to wait on God and we can wait because we have long-suffering, and can hold off our anger and frustration that comes with “why not now?” and such questions. And we can be patient because of the peace that God gives in the knowledge that all things will work out in his good timing, because we have the joy in the hope of his goodness and love.

Which brings us to our action fruit: goodness. Now God calls us to action in goodness. To do his good deeds that he has prepared for us beforehand. Which we can do because we are ready in kindness that is serviceable, ready and willing to do the good works God has prepared for us (Ephesians 2:10). And now are patient not only waiting for the good things to do them, but also in doing them, even when they are hard, or frustrating, or we don’t understand them. And have peace, because we know God will equip us with the things we need to accomplish this task and complete it in his good timing. And we can do this because the joy we have in the hope he has given us, grounded on the foundation of his love.

The last three words tell us how to do these good deeds. And first is faithfulness. For in all that we do, we must do it faithfully as to the Lord as Paul tells us in Colossians 3:23: “And do all things as to the Lord.” For in everything we do, we must do for God. Out of the willing kindness, patiently and bearing long in the work holding off our anger and frustration, because we have his peace that God is in control, joy because of the hope he has given us and that we can be useful to him, and able to share his love that he has filled us with.

We are also to do it with gentleness. The third Greek word I marked down was “prautes” which means, you guessed it: “gentleness.” However, the word shares the same root as the word praytes which means meekness, and the notes on Biblehub.com explain this means “'gentle strength' which expresses power with reserve and gentleness.” God provides all we need to accomplish the task before hand, but God tells us to be gentle in bearing that strength, skill, ability.

I recently listened to a sermon on 1 Corinthians 8 where Paul tells the Corinthians to limit their rights for weaker brothers and sisters in Christ. Gentleness is limiting ourselves. Limiting our rights and freedoms so we might better display God’s love. Not being overbearing and trying to shove truth down their throats or hit them over the head with a Bible until they miraculously understand, but gently. Faithfully as God calls us to do these good things, in kindness and willingness to do so, patiently bearing long with the people we are ministering to, waiting long before getting frustrated with the task at hand. Instead holding onto the peace God gives in his provision and timing, taking joy to be working for him and holding onto the joy of our hope in his love, our foundation we desire to share with others that they might grow in the fruits of the Spirit.

So in all this we are to have self-control. To be able to control ourselves in our words and actions, to do all things in gentleness, refraining our rights and freedoms for the benefits of others, faithfully to God and not for our own gain the good things he has prepared beforehand for us, being willing and useful to God in kindness, patiently holding back our anger and frustration by holding onto the peace of his provision and timing, joy in his hope, grounded on his love.

“Against such there is no law.” Paul completes the fruits of the Spirit that complete themselves in a full circle.

Yes. They are good to memorize, and there are fun songs about them. But they are also a guideline and process. First we must ground ourselves on a foundation of love, we must understand the joy of hope in God’s love, cling to the peace of God’s fulfillment of promises, patient in waiting and through difficult tasks, be willing to do all things in kindness, that we might do the good works God has prepared for each of us, doing them faithfully to the Father, gently portraying his love, and limiting our freedoms, having self-control over our actions and words.

Never Alone

Tonight I helped volunteer with Compassion International at a concert by For King and Country. I ended up getting there early and was able to help prepare the bonus gift they were handing out for people who signed up that night to sponsor a kid: a bag with the book "Behind the Lights" that the Smallbones' mother wrote, and the brother's latest CD.

Then, after the training session, I was assigned a section to patrol and hand out packets and reward anyone who signed up and made their first payment tonight. We were supposed to be in pairs, however, I ended up on my own.

Two people actually came up to me to take a packet before I was supposed to start patrolling and that felt great. And one I don't know about since she wasn't in my section. But the other was a little girl whose parents signed up and I gave them a bag with the book and CD.

I handed out a handful of other packets. But no one else in my section fully committed during my time there. Though one couple with their teenage son asked if there was a younger boy, so I'm pretty sure they will end up sponsoring a child. And another group of ladies were considering going in together, but at least one had a spouse they needed to talk with first.

I always feel like I failed somehow when someone hands me back a packet and says not for them. I asked one mother to consider making a group effort for it, but she was waiting to discuss it with her teenage daughter. I don't know what will come of that.

After the break in the show when we handed out the packets, we were to return to the room we started in to hand-in any filled in sheets so they wouldn't get lost. There we ended up handing in our leftover packets and blue aprons and everything else we had.

When that blue apron came off, I lost the identity I had for tonight. I went from being part of a group to being all alone. And I felt alone. But I was not alone, because God says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5 NKJV).

So whenever you feel alone and heartbroken, like no one sees or cares for you, remember that God sees you and God loves you. Remember that "the LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged" (Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV) because God is carrying you on his "Shoulders:"

And may I encourage you with one last thing. In whatever you do, whatever God calls you to do, do it whole heartedly and remember you most likely won't see the ways God used your efforts. I had to remind myself of that tonight. I knew of only one child that got sponsored. But because I was there, I was able to hand out a number of packets and encourage others to sponsor, and God only knows what, if anything, will come of that.

I wish to also share this prayer by Lysa TerKeurst from her book You're Going to Make it because on Day 12, after she encourages us "to see beautiful again" while "recognizing that a hard season doesn't mean that every day has to be hard," she prays this prayer that is so true for moments when we feel alone and lost:

"Lord, I believe You see things I cannot see, so give me the courage to press in even when I'm struggling to see what You are doing in my life. I know You are always doing more than what I can see right away, and I trust You with all my heart. Help me see all the beauty You've placed in my life even in unexepected and unlikely places. in Jesus' name, amen."

And for me, that means clinging to the eager, smiling face of that little girl who came up to take a packet so she and her parents could sign up to sponsor a child. If nothing else, I was able to be a part of their story, even if I end up being forgotten, their story wouldn't have happened if I wasn't there. And being part of people's stories was what one of the Compassion representatives had encouraged us with.

What beauty can you see in the little things you do for God? What precious moments can you cling to? I would encourage you also, with Lysa TerKeurst, in seeking the beauty in every situation, especially the small ones. Because God loves to multiply and grow the smallest of things. Like how he fed the five thousand with only five loaves and two little fish. Or how a whole tree grows from the tiniest of mustard seeds. So do every small deed in Jesus' name.

Don't Remain Silent

    When I kept silent my bones grew old

Through the groaning all the day long.

  For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;

My vitality was turned into the drought of summer. Selah

  I acknowledged my sin to You,

And my iniquity I have not kept hidden.

  I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD."

And you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

-  Psalm 32:3-5 NKJV

  The other day I noted to myself that keeping silent isn't just for admitting we're wrong, but holding in the good things we should be speaking of. The first is recognizing the sin that needs to be confessed, the second is an inaction that becomes a sin that needs to be confessed.

  When we stay silent for either, they become a heavy burden on our shoulders, in the pit of our stomach, and all the places where we feel "this just isn't right" sort of things.

  And God is the source of that discomfortable feeling. Not because he's cruel and wants us to suffer, but he's trying to inform us our silence isn't right so it can be confessed, forgiven, and corrected in moving forward. Hebrews 12:5-7 explains this:

  And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son." Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? (NIV)

  But when we ignore God's corrections, his discipline, we become tired and depressed, our "vitality," our strength is "turned into the drought of summer," sapped and emptied until we don't have the energy for anything else. Because that guilt eats us from the inside.

  Therefore the proper response is to admit our wrong to acknowledge our sin to God. And to not hide our iniquity. This second part is what caught my attention after learning about the command in James 5:16a that says:

  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

  In today's culture especially, everyone puts on a front that says, "I'm good, my life is perfect, I have everything under control." But in this Psalm we are told not to keep our iniquity hidden and in James to confess our sins to each other. We are to admit, "I have hard days, my life isn't perfect, I'm struggling with this, and I have no control over that."

  That's not to say everybody needs to know every single detail of our lives, that's why we have BFF's and confidantes, to share the nitty gritty with.

  But sometimes God will open a door and ask us to share a struggle with someone. And by sharing with each other we are able to encourage each other. Because we aren't alone in our struggles, the only one that doesn't have it all together, who is somehow failing where everyone else is apparently succeeding. There are others struggling with similar, if not the same, things.

  Some of my greatest encouragement has come from people being completely honest with me. Like when one of my sister-in-laws pointed out she still felt lonely even when my brother was sitting right next to her. My loneliness and need for companionship cannot be fully fulfilled in a spouse, only Jesus can completely and satisfyingly fill that void inside of me. But it isn't a sin to desire such a relationship because it is a blessing. Yet we must also be sensitive to when the desires of our hearts change - if God's will is a different path than what we thought would be best.

  So confess your transgressions to the Lord that he may forgive you. And share with a brother or sister in Christ that you might be healed.

  Those are the truths that were stressed during the Celebrate Recovery meeting I attended on James 5:16a. Only God can forgive us our sins. But by sharing with another we can begin to heal. Because we release the dead weight of sin by acknowledging out loud to a witness that we had sinned and were forgiven.

  Because we can not recover from something until we admit it happened. We did it. The pain is real. Yet God is good and keeps his promises. For "if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:9 NIV

   Satan will want to make us doubt we are forgiven, that we can't recover, that this sin defines us, we have to deal with this on our own, we are only being a burden to others. And that is where it is important to speak the truth and admit our sins to another and that we have been forgiven.

  Because not only do we have a witness to our confession, but we have a supporter who can remind us we are forgiven, and encourage us along the path of healing, with whom we can share each other's burdens:

Two are better than one,

    because they have a good return for their labor:

  If either of them falls down,

    one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls

    and has no one to help them up.

  Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

    But how can one keep warm alone?

 Though one may be overpowered,

    two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

 Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NIV

  The Hebrew words for "for their labor" is ba·‘ă·mā·lām which means "Toil, wearing effort, worry." And "return" is śā-ḵār meaning "wages, maintenance, compensation, benefit."

  Therefore by working together we are able to make the things we have trouble with, that wear us down because we've been silent, that we worry over, into something good that we benefit from.

  The "maintenance" surprised me but made sense when I looked up the definition: "the process of maintaining or preserving someone or something, or the state of being maintained."

  So I would encourage you in supporting and being supported by another person. For not only will you be able to be healed from past mistakes and sins, but also maintain the progress that has been made, being accountable to each other. And we also do this by praying for each other, not only for the progress being made, but for protection from Satan.

  Do you have a friend, a brother or sister in Christ, you can confide in and support you? Will you take the time to listen and support them?

About Me

 Bio

I'm Rachel. 30 year old born again believer. Child of God. Number lover. Writer. Piano player. Artist. Cat lover. Observer who misses things right under her nose. Video gamer. And hopefully now an encouragement to those who read this blog.

I first accepted Jesus in my heart at about 11 or 12. I gave up my messy burden of mistakes and shortcomings at 17. But I kept trying to earn salvation on my own merits, messed up royally, and didn't start to fully trust God for everything until December 5, 2022 when I read the words, "God doesn't love us because of what we've done. But because of who He is." - Redeemed Like David: How to Overcome Sexual Temptation by Mark Ballenger (emphasis mine).

Now I am learning to cling to the truths of 1 Corinthians 6:11 NKJV: "And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God." And Romans 8:1 AMP: "Therefore there is now no condemnation [no guilty verdict, no punishment] for those who are in Christ Jesus [who believe in Him as personal Lord and Savior]."

And always learning how to trust God in all things. While staying grounded in the truths He has given me. My base verse is Romans 12:12 NIV given by a good friend: "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." So may I always remain.

Beliefs

I believe in the Holy Bible as the infallible word of God.

I believe in God - the Trinity, three in one.

God the Father, who is always loving and from whom forth everything originates. Who initiated creation out of the abundance of His love. Who is the mastermind of salvation for He desires to call us His children because of that same abundance of love.

Jesus the Son, who obeys the Father in all things out of His love for the Father, who is the word and manifestation of God, and who came to die for us and rises again to save us and restore our relationship with God.

The Holy Spirit, who is the messenger of love and the breath of God, proclaiming the Father's love to His children that was demonstrated by Jesus' obedience to the Father, and who is our guide, counselor, comforter, etc…

I believe salvation is a free choice God has given us, otherwise He would have made us robots. Once we choose Him, He has predestined us to be called His children, because that was His plan from before there was a beginning (Ephesians 1:5).

The Reason for this Blog

For a while I've been in limbo. I broke up with my boyfriend and quit my job after spending a weekend under one of my sister-in-law's wise counsel and knew both relationships were terrible for me.

God, however, calls this my time of rest, as He has called me to "be still and know that I am God," as the hymnist writes. He has given me this phrase in tune a couple of times, and I have received much counsel to take this time to spend with God and figure out what is next.

Sometimes I so desperately want to know what is next so I can do whatever it is now. Not because I feel ready to move forward. But because I feel like I'm being judged for not moving forward. Because I have always been the slow one that takes too long to do a simple task, even basic needs tasks.

Yet during this time God has been revealing little precious truths and promises that I wish I could cling to more firmly when the devil's fiery darts knock me down.

In this blog, Defining Joy in Hope, I wish to bring you along this journey of discovery with me. I hope what I'm learning may help you in your own walk and possibly be a source of encouragement through your own struggles.

Because I wish to share the things I wish I had understood or gotten better definitions of. Like "What exactly is Hope?", "What are the Fruits of the Spirit?" Besides a jumble of attributes everybody wishes they had without trying to get them. "And how does one actually put on the armor of God?"

Please, be patient with me as I try to share what I've learned about these things and more. And if ever you think I write something contrary to what the Bible says, please let me know gently. I don't take criticism well, but by God's grace I listen and hopefully will apply. And if I can't see your view, forgive me, please.

I also wish to share songs I believe God has used to minister to my heart. That helped me stay afloat when depression tried to drown me. Held me together while my world crumbled apart. And in their own way taught me precious truths.

Most of these songs will be from artists much more talented than I. Yet some of these songs I will be recording myself on a piano. So again, forgive any background noise you may hear, especially my page turning. I hope these songs would also be blessings and encouragements to any who take the time to listen.

Thank you for stopping by! I hope you leave uplifted, with food for thought to strengthen your relationship with God, and encourage you on your way.

Blessings,

Rachel