Shame and Failure Don't Define You or Me

 “Failure won’t define me ‘cause that’s what my Father does… Arrival’s not the end game, the journey’s where You are, You never wanted perfect, You just wanted my heart. And the story isn’t over, if the story isn’t good. A failure’s never final when the Father is in the room… Lay your burdens down… Check your shame at the door ‘cause it ain’t welcome anymore. You’re in the Father’s house.” - The Father’s House by Cory Asbury

I have a strong negative critic that lives in my head, so as I headed to a church picnic on Sunday and realized everything else I could have brought, that voice just went to town. “You’re so selfish. You didn’t stop to think about anybody else once. You have three lawn chairs you could have brought. Think about the people you could have blessed. You’re so selfish.”

Yes. There was more I could have brought. Things that would have blessed other people. But 1 Corinthians 13:3 says “If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” Even if I had thought to bring those chairs, or even turned around to get the chairs because shame was screaming at me, it would have been compulsory and not out of love.

Paul also says in 2 Corinthians 9:7: “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” I had decided to bring cut fruit. That was what was available and I was more than happy to bring. So that is what I brought. But when shame started telling me everything else I should have brought, doing so would have been out of compulsion.

The Greek word for reluctantly is lupé meaning “pain of body or mind, grief, sorrow” and the word for compulsion is anagké meaning “necessity” implying an immediate need that demands to be taken care of. Meaning we shouldn’t do or bring something because we were guilted into doing it, because we think if we don’t then no one else will (thinking we are the only one who can), because shame tears apart our insides in a rampage that causes us to feel pain. And it is in moments like these I just want to crawl out of my body and escape the shame.

But God wants us to be a cheerful giver. The Greek word for cheerful is hilaros meaning “cheerful” yet it also implies that the person has already been satisfied, they have everything they need, they have already been persuaded and know this is the thing they are to do. So when we are full and satisfied and have everything we need in Christ, then from the goodness and love He gives us will naturally flow onto others. This isn’t something we can force, but it is something that we can take steps to fill ourselves in God’s love and goodness

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30

So God calls us to lay down our burdens (Matthew 11:28-30). Not just the pain of the past, but also the obligations of “we have to”s. Because sometimes we can’t, and sometimes we have to say no, because the truth of the matter is sometimes we don’t have the love and goodness of God to share with others because we need to be loved and shown the goodness of God.

That day at the lake, a friend reminded me of the love and goodness of God, for he not only prayed for me, but he had an extra chair that he brought over to me when I didn’t go and get the chair myself after he offered because I was still feeling so insecure and miserable.

So also God has come and has met us where we are. Because we could not get into heaven by any amount of good works we could do, no matter how many people we served and put before us, nothing could undo and pay for our sin. So Jesus came to die for us, to pay for that sin, and bring heaven to us. For He now dwells in every heart that calls upon the name of Jesus as their Lord and Savior:

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. - Ephesians 3:16-19

What has shame been guilting you into? Are you taking the time to be filled with God’s love and goodness?

Bees

 

Go to the ant, you sluggard;     consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander,     no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer     and gathers its food at harvest.  - Proverbs 6:6-8 NIV

As with ants, we can learn lessons from God's creation and the creatures He purposefully filled it with. Yesterday, while taking a much needed break, I sat to admire the view and instead found myself watching the bees which were much closer.

For in a patch of flowers right in front of me, a couple handful of bees busily buzzed about. As I sat and watched them work, I noticed their little feet digging down into the clover like flowers. But they were not thorough. They touched certain parts. Then they moved on. Then another bee came and worked on that same flower.

Today I attended the first of the two day SheSpeaks Conference. So many wonderful speakers shared such beautiful messages. I am looking forward to tomorrow. But one thing that was spoken and reiterated was that we don't have to fear others' accomplishments. We don't have to feel that someone beat us to it. We don't have to worry about someone doing it better.

Instead they reminded us that God has a job for each of us. How God has prepared good works for each of us. Because God gave us a unique voice to share a message that while it may be similar to others, will reach different people than who the others will reach. And it's not about who has a better message or can tell it better, it's about being honestly vulnerable about our own story.

Just like how multiple bees work on a single flower, so many of us will address the same topic. Sometimes two bees will work on the same flower together.

But that flower, that topic, cannot be fully addressed by one bee alone. It needs the perspectives and forms of being shared by many different bees to care for one flower, one topic. Because we cannot tell it all. And today we were warned not to try but to focus on the part that we can add our voice to, because we've had experience with it and now a story to share about it.

One of the ladies at SheSpeaks used the example of multiple teachers teaching to the same room of people. Instead of competing to have the best message or feeling inadequate because of what the others were teaching, she pointed out each of their messages would reach a different group of people, so if they all taught the same thing from the same viewpoint, not everyone would be reached. So focus on your message, because God intends to reach someone specifically with your unique story.

So if God calls you to work on a topic, drown out the lying voices of comparison with the truth that your perspective on the matter is unique to you, and will reach different people. And the truth that if this topic had been fully covered and there was nothing new to be said about it, God wouldn't be sending someone else to address it.

Jesus sees all the problems in the world and every person who struggles with each problem. He also knows which workers will work in which part of the field. He knows whose message will reach which people. But He also knows the workers are few.

There isn't a lack of work to be done because one person can not do it all. There is a lack of people willing to stand up to the role God has called them to fulfill.

So where is God calling you to? What has He given you to do? Who has He placed on your heart to reach? How is He leading you to share your story? Will you say yes to Him today?

Lord, Be Glorified

 

Therefore, I urge you brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. - Romans 12:1 NIV

This act of being a living sacrifice, of taking up our cross daily and denying ourselves (Luke 9:23), is represented in this song “Lord, Be Glorified” by Bob Kilpatrick as we seek to honor our Lord, Savior, and Creator in everything we do and reminds us to live in such a way that does indeed glorify God.

Growing up I knew the lyrics "In my life, Lord…", "In our church, Lord…", and "In my heart, Lord…". But when I googled them to sing along with this arrangement (which I probably won't record), I found another verse that is "In my song, Lord…".

Practicing this song I realized I could add my own lyrics: "In what I write…", "In songs I share…", though both of those replace "Lord" in the lyrics, I know to whom I pray and sing.

This still opened opportunities for me to give God the things I can do, the tools I can use, the tasks before me to God through a prayerful song. For I believe this song is best sung as a prayer.

What would you offer for God to use in prayer as you sing this song?

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