“Failure won’t define me ‘cause that’s what my Father does… Arrival’s not the end game, the journey’s where You are, You never wanted perfect, You just wanted my heart. And the story isn’t over, if the story isn’t good. A failure’s never final when the Father is in the room… Lay your burdens down… Check your shame at the door ‘cause it ain’t welcome anymore. You’re in the Father’s house.” - The Father’s House by Cory Asbury
I have a strong negative critic that lives in my head, so as I headed to a church picnic on Sunday and realized everything else I could have brought, that voice just went to town. “You’re so selfish. You didn’t stop to think about anybody else once. You have three lawn chairs you could have brought. Think about the people you could have blessed. You’re so selfish.”
Yes. There was more I could have brought. Things that would have blessed other people. But 1 Corinthians 13:3 says “If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” Even if I had thought to bring those chairs, or even turned around to get the chairs because shame was screaming at me, it would have been compulsory and not out of love.
Paul also says in 2 Corinthians 9:7: “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” I had decided to bring cut fruit. That was what was available and I was more than happy to bring. So that is what I brought. But when shame started telling me everything else I should have brought, doing so would have been out of compulsion.
The Greek word for reluctantly is lupé meaning “pain of body or mind, grief, sorrow” and the word for compulsion is anagké meaning “necessity” implying an immediate need that demands to be taken care of. Meaning we shouldn’t do or bring something because we were guilted into doing it, because we think if we don’t then no one else will (thinking we are the only one who can), because shame tears apart our insides in a rampage that causes us to feel pain. And it is in moments like these I just want to crawl out of my body and escape the shame.
But God wants us to be a cheerful giver. The Greek word for cheerful is hilaros meaning “cheerful” yet it also implies that the person has already been satisfied, they have everything they need, they have already been persuaded and know this is the thing they are to do. So when we are full and satisfied and have everything we need in Christ, then from the goodness and love He gives us will naturally flow onto others. This isn’t something we can force, but it is something that we can take steps to fill ourselves in God’s love and goodness
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30
So God calls us to lay down our burdens (Matthew 11:28-30). Not just the pain of the past, but also the obligations of “we have to”s. Because sometimes we can’t, and sometimes we have to say no, because the truth of the matter is sometimes we don’t have the love and goodness of God to share with others because we need to be loved and shown the goodness of God.
That day at the lake, a friend reminded me of the love and goodness of God, for he not only prayed for me, but he had an extra chair that he brought over to me when I didn’t go and get the chair myself after he offered because I was still feeling so insecure and miserable.
So also God has come and has met us where we are. Because we could not get into heaven by any amount of good works we could do, no matter how many people we served and put before us, nothing could undo and pay for our sin. So Jesus came to die for us, to pay for that sin, and bring heaven to us. For He now dwells in every heart that calls upon the name of Jesus as their Lord and Savior:
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. - Ephesians 3:16-19
What has shame been guilting you into? Are you taking the time to be filled with God’s love and goodness?