A Hope For Today

 Therefore having girded up the loins of your mind, being sober-minded, set your hope fully upon the grace being brought to you in the revelation of Jesus Christ, - 1 Peter 1:13 BLB

The word revelation always denoted a finality to me. Those things that would be revealed would only be at the end when Jesus returns. That all my questions could not and will not get answered until I see Jesus face to face.

Perhaps this is because the last book of the Bible holds this word as its title and speaks of everything that will happen when Jesus returns. But my outlook also comes from a lack of understanding that the word revelation means a revealing of something that was not previously known. Both in the English and Greek versions of the word.

A lot of versions of this verse also translate "being brought" as something that will happen in the future, like when Jesus comes.

There are a lot more layers in Greek to past, present, and future tenses and other grammar aspects I don't fully understand and have to look up and study everytime I want to understand a word more fully.

This verb of grace's revelation is in the present. It is being brought now. Not someday, but today.

The more I learn about Jesus and His unconditional love and the grace He has for me increases my joy. Grace is a favor, as in preference. God prefers us. But grace is also kindness. Because of God's preference for those He desires to call His own, He shows kindness.

Grace is what caused God to reach down and save humanity, the world, the entire universe. Yes. I won't fully understand the extent of God's grace and may not be able to fully comprehend in heaven, but I can start learning more about God's grace and understand how highly He thinks of me and the joy that fills God when He looks at me, at you, at each of us His dear children.

I suffer with depression. A hopelessness that makes me feel worthless, a waste of space. Everything feels pointless as the energy is sapped from me. A heaviness weighs down my heart making even the most menial tasks equivalent to climbing Mount Everest.

Last night during a Bible study reviewing a sermon preached on Sunday, we noted the preacher's view of the character of the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4. She was bitter. Insulted thatJesus was even talking with her. Nitpicking details that didn't even matter to Jesus, a majority He ignored they held so little worth and only one He corrected her on.

In their conversation, the woman gets defensive to His correction on worship and says, "I know that Messiah… is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us" (John 4:25).

As I thought about the 1 Peter passage above, which Timothy Keller mentioned at the end of a sermon, I realized she felt the same way. That we cannot have the answers now, so there is no point in trying to understand, we have to wait until the Messiah comes to explain everything.

This led to her bitterness and seeking fulfillment through relationships. This led to my depression and feeling all effort is worthless.

But Jesus replies "I am He" (John 4:26). He is our Messiah, the Christ, our Savior.

God has been revealing Himself since the beginning of time. Through His communications with Adam, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and all the prophets who followed. Then He came Himself as a human to make Himself known as our Savior and pay a price only He could afford: our sin debt. Now we hold His truth in our hands in His word the Bible through which He reveals and makes Himself known to us.

Maybe some of the things we learn are miniscule and seem meaningless. But like a snowflake that combines with another snowflake and another until you are holding a snowball in your hand, so God takes every tiny truth we absorb to teach us something tangible we can learn.

Slowly those snowballs add up. They grow. Snow forts and igloos are formed inside our hearts. Foundations and fortresses of truth in which we can confidently reside and live out of.

Then they begin to transform our lives. Our hearts begin to thaw in response to God's love as we are warmed in the protection of His truth. As our hearts begin again to beat and follow the rhythm of God's heart we discover the value of our worth and the love of our Heavenly Father. Then this enables us to see the worth and God's love for others and to be an extension of His heart reaching out to them.

So are you gathering snowflakes? Can you hold a snowball in your hand? Is an igloo or snow fort being built? Or maybe you are resting inside an igloo and snow fort, heart thawing to beat again.

Whatever stage you are at or however many times you have gone through the cycle, keep leaning into Jesus. Receive the word He has for you, listen for the Spirit's direction no matter how faint, and hear the Father's love for you.

Let your bitterness be sweetened in the truth of hope we have in Jesus. Let your depression take flight in the truth of hope we have in Jesus.

All Bible references are from the New International Version (NIV) unless noted otherwise.

The Gentleness of God's Voice

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30

Growing up, I would hear the phrase, “If God wants you to do something, He will keep telling you to do it.” But when I told this to a pastor’s wife later on in life, she replied, “Well, Satan is very persistent too.” To which I felt dismayed, because how was I to ever know if something was from God or the enemy?

We have two voices speaking into us: God’s, and Satan’s.

Learning that this past year has actually been helpful, since I am plagued with a self-gaslighting inner voice which is constantly tearing me down and kicking me deeper into the mud of shame and despair. So it was a relief to come to know this was not God.

But sometimes the voices are hard to differentiate. After all, Satan disguises himself as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14), so he tries to sound like our Savior, Jesus. However, their motivations are completely different:

The thief [Satan] comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. - John 10:10

Satan can only change his outward appearance. His heart remains the same, and eventually that pours out into his words:

But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. - Matthew 15:18-19 (emphasis added)

Through two different experiences this past week, I came to understand the gentleness of God’s speech in my heart. For God gave us a free will, and doesn’t want to force us (Philemon 1:14) or for us to do anything out of compulsion (2 Corinthians 9:7). But He asks gently, “Will you do this?” or “Will you go here?”

Maybe we don’t respond right away. Or we forgot and got distracted with something else. Or maybe we need a reminder to keep going. Or maybe we are procrastinating. But God doesn’t shame us, wagging a finger as He tsks, “I asked you to do this already, why haven’t you done so?” Instead He gently asks again, “Will you do this?” or “Will you go here?”

Satan’s voice urges us on and rises with our anxiety, mocking our panic by screaming, “If I don’t do this now then I will miss my chance!” “If I don’t go now then I will never be able to go!” or “If I don’t get this then I’ll never have it!” So he tells us to grab, run, hurry, jump that hurdle, chase your tail, perhaps someday you’ll finally be good enough and attain all your wildest dreams.

But consider for a moment what Jesus said, “I Am the bread of life” (John 6:35), “the light of the world” (John 8:12), “the door” (John 10:9), “the good shepherd” (John 10:11, 14), “the resurrection and the life” (John 11:25-26), “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6) and “the true vine” (John 15:1). In Him is already everything that we could possibly want or need: sustenance, life, access to a safe place, protection, a means for salvation, a guideline for how to live our life, and the strength to live that life.

The gentleness of God's voice says, "Come to me. For in me is found all things. Rest. For I have already completed the work. The things I ask of you are not too hard. For I bear the weight of the burden. I will not force you. For I desire to walk with you. Will you walk with me?"

Read more about God's kindness here.

All Bible references are from the New International Version (NIV) unless noted otherwise.

Seasons of Heartbreak

 “You are safe here.”

My counselor leaned forward as she spoke the words. With my eyes glazed over, mind blank, numb to all my emotions, I needed the reminder from my counselor that I was safe. I no longer need to live in those scenarios that caused my pain.

Like the state-of-the-art security system, my brain shuts down, closing off to the rest of the world like a panic room. I don’t dare make any eye contact. Any interactions are superficial and marked by my nervous fake giggle that says, “I’m fine!”

In moments like those, however, I am anything but fine. Trying to do everything I can to close out the world. Anything I can to avoid the pain.

In my seasons of depression, I never want to hurt myself. I don’t like pain and fear getting hurt. But when I trip, bump into something, hit my funny bone, pinch a finger, my response is always to be angry. “I deserved that,” I tell myself as I move on - outwardly, as though it never happened.

“I am the vine; you are the branches.” - John 15:5

Do you know what happens when two parts are connected? One is affected by what the other feels.

Have you ever sat on a bench with someone, or at a table, and the other person starts bouncing their leg? The action shakes your seat too! Even erasing vigorously shakes the whole table and results in an angry sibling or friend to scold angrily because their picture or writing was messed up (I’ve been on both sides of this scenario).

So likewise, when we feel pain, God feels the pain too. After all, we are connected. Jesus is the vine, we the branches. Having been grafted in, that means we have been joined to a point where we are now one plant.

God’s own Spirit dwells within us (1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19, Galatians 4:6, 2 Timothy 1:14), and you can’t get any closer than that.

But God doesn’t want to leave us in this state of suffering in our pain. He wants us to come to the other side. He allows the pain into our lives because He knew we would become more beautiful as a result. That our relationship with Him would become much deeper. Our character more defined into the person He created us to be. Stronger, wiser, more faithful (Romans 3:3-5, James 1:2-4, 2 Peter 1:3-9*). Because God knew the benefits of going through the trial, pain, hardship, loss, whatever you may be facing, outweighs the safety of staying where we are.

Maybe the pain will only last a day, a week, or a month. But maybe it will be a year or two, or more. Or, maybe as He did for Paul when death was the end-date, God will say, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

No matter the length of time or the extent of your heartbreak, allow me to tell you this:

“You are safe here.”

You are safe in the presence of God, who is the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3).

I wish I could tell you how to receive this comfort. To explain how its possible to feel joy in our pain. But the comfort God gives is personalized specifically to you. And the peace He gives passes all understanding (John 14:27, Philippians 4:7). The only thing I can tell you for certain is you won’t find His comfort anywhere else than in His presence.

Maybe getting into God’s presence is intimidating or you don’t know how. I’ve been there too.

Currently I find devotionals helpful, speaking the words I can’t find, with reminders about what God actually says about me. Trying a new technique of praying, though it wasn’t at all how I imagined when I ordered the book, provided an avenue that helps being still in God's presence. Listening to sermons recommended by others.

If you would like a starting place, check out my list of Recommended Resources. I hope you find something that helps you draw nearer to God.